Christmas Contemplation
by MairiNathaira
Summary: Harry contemplates on his relationship.


**Title**: Christmas Contemplation  
**Author**: Mairi Nathaira  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Category**: Romance  
**Notes**: My first ACTUAL completed HP fic… er ficlet. Thanks to Titti for letting me write for her Christmas Drabble.   
**Summary**: Harry contemplates on his relationship.  
**Pairing**: HP/SS  
**Warnings**: Slash  
**Dedications**: Titti for being a good friend! ^_^ And for betaing! Happy EARLY Christmas!  
**Disclaimer**: Harry Potter belongs to Warner Brothers and the wonderful JK Rowling. I do not own them, despite the fact I wish I could own SS, RL, and SB. The only thing that belongs to me is the story itself. Do not sue me please. I'm a poor high school student as of now.  
**Feedback**: mairi@aigoo-chamna.net All comments and criticisms are welcomed there. If it's flame then don't bother for I will put them in my trashcan or blog about it and laugh at you.

Outside, in the snow covered landscape, near the lake, stood a single figure.  Snow was gently falling around him and he bore a pensive expression.  He lifted his head up so he could feel the snow on his face and sighed.  Fortunately, the weather wasn't all that cold.  Chilly yes, but freezing?  Never.  Not when he has so much to think about and each thought just brought him such happiness and warmness to him.

_It's been almost a year since we became lovers.  I, myself, can hardly believe it.  Who would have thought this would turn out like this?  I still remember the first day we met.  I thought he was the one who caused the pain in my scar, but alas, I was wrong.  Nevertheless I despised him and made a vow to stay far away from him.  He did the same or so he tried, but fate just had other plans for us.  _ He chuckled.

_I remember how we were paired up many times during the war.  Ironically, each time we were together, we were the ones fighting.  However as time went on, I came to respect him.  I'm thankful that  the war ended just when I was ready to leave Hogwarts, at the end of my seventh year.  The war was tough on everyone.  We've lost many wizards and witches who were on our side.  Nevertheless, life still went on. _

_Yes. Life did go on.  It was tough on all of us.  The pain was all heavy in our hearts.  Yet as time passed, it grew dimmer and dimmer.  Each of us found new ways to be happy, and my lover and I definitely found our joy._

As he was staring around his surrounding, he sighed contentedly.  Regardless of how familiar it was, it felt magical to him.  The wind softly blew around him and even though little bits of snow were getting on him, he didn't mind.  Right now he could care less if a volcano was to erupt right from under him.  

_It was two years later when I saw him again.  He hadn't change at all.  I had returned to Hogwarts to teach Muggle Studies and seeing him turned my world upside down.  I didn't know what I was feeling then, but then I realised that the emotion was love.  At first it scared me deeply.  I thought I was deluded so I tried denying it to myself.  That just made me felt worst.  _

_Yet, he was the one who gave me courage and hope to approach him.  There were times when I felt his eyes on me.  At first, I told myself that I was just being paranoid.  However during dinner one night last year, I caught him staring at me, and I knew then he felt the same way as I did.  Call me crazy, but I saw so many emotions in his eyes in a short period of time.  I was only able to distinguished three emotions and they were love, hope, and lastly fear.  Yes, fear.  Strange for someone who's been leading a double life since he was a teenager.  But I understood._

_Not everyone supported our relationship.  Sirius nearly blew up Hogsmeade when he found out.  Hermione and Ron were aghast.  They couldn't believe I snogged, shagged, and of course loved the "slimy git".  The entire Weasley clan, minus the twins and Ginny, were disgusted.  The twins just found it hilarious.  Ginny, who's quite fond of potions got to know our Professor and found out that he really wasn't all that his façade showed.  She greatly supported us and I am thankful of that.  Same thing with Remus.  If it weren't for him, Sirius would have killed Severus by now and I'd have to kill Sirius to revenge my lover.  Fortunately for all of us, that didn't happened._

_Yes.  Call me a hypocrite.  I thought he was a cold bastard, but he isn't.  Deep inside lives a cunning and sensitive man.  His sarcasm will knock down anyone, but that's one thing I've come to love about him.  I don't care about the fact that he went to school with my father and mother.  Age shouldn't be associated with love.  People claim that he is ugly.  Well not to me.  I see a handsome and sexy man in front of me.  I don't give a damn about what everyone says.  He's my Severus.  My sexy Sev._

Harry's train of thoughts were suddenly interrupted by soft footsteps behind him.  He smiled gently as a pair of strong arms wrapped around him.  Harry instinctively leaned into taller man's broad chest.  Severus tightened his hold and bent his head to nuzzle in his lover's dishevelled hair.

"Aren't you cold?" he huskily asked.

Harry shook his head.  "Sev, I am never cold when I think of you."

Severus turned the Gryffindor around till they were facing each other. "You stayed out here for the last thirty minutes thinking about me?  You must be mad."

Harry grinned.  "Well, I've been called mad a thousand times, so one more time makes no difference."

"Insolence will not be tolerated, Mr. Potter," Snape deadpanned.

"I cannot wait for my punishment."

"So what exactly were you thinking?" He started to kiss Harry's cheek.

"I was just contemplating our relationship."

"My my, so my foolish Gryffindor does know how to think after all."

"Of course, Severus.  I do have a brain after all." With that saying, Harry kissed him.  "Happy Christmas, love."

_Completed November 30, 2002___


End file.
